Last week when I talked about friendship I said when I am your friend I am all in and I am. This weeks post might surprise you. I am a ride or die, got your back, know where the bodies are buried, go to jail with you kind of friend until…something happens that breaks a boundary with me. I believe in second chances so I will say to you; “hey we need to talk” and try my best to diplomatically tell you what is on my mind, what happened, and how I would like to move forward. Hopefully, this conversation ends with some agreements and some hugs.

Maya Angelo has a quote: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” I don’t know why we don’t memorize that quote, or worse yet, why we think to ourselves, that person won’t do that to me. I used to trust everyone until they gave me a reason not to trust them. I wish I still did. Now when I meet someone I keep them at arms length until I know for sure what their character is like. No more excuses.

In the last few years this is happened with me. Someone I had know my whole life I had caught in yet another lie. It wasn’t a big one but you know, it was exhausting. So many goofy, stupid lies she would tell me, then forget and I would bring it up in a way that would put her in a corner and all of the sudden she would need to get off of the phone. I would say something like, wait that isn’t what you said before or man, I must’ve not been paying attention because I swore you said XYZ before and zippo she would need to get off of the phone. I have to take some responsibility for the friendship ending because I should have been more direct but I was always hoping that this time she would be truthful and come clean. I knew she had this issue. I had watched her on many occasion manipulate people with her version of truth. This time she had taken it too far with me because her little white lie involved me, my mom and another friend whom I trust implicitly. No one was going to die but I had, had enough. I said to her, “you know, this story just doesn’t add up.” She really got insistent from there which is how she operates and confirmed my suspicions and I refused to text with her any longer. We have not had any communication since. And that is o.k.

I love my friends, I really do. Friends however, are supposed to be an asset to your life and not a liability. Someone to go the extra mile, lift you up, and maybe call you out on something in a healthy way. You can agree to disagree and move on if the friendship is healthy Is there someone you need to have a chat with? I would suggest going to coffee somewhere. Because even thought I am sure this friendship still would have ended, conversations by text can be taken the wrong way. And when you are in public you will work harder at being kind when you have something less than positive to address. Even in the end, if you both decide you can’t agree all friendships have merit, everything has a season, if it is time to move on, then it is time to move on. And that is o.k.