I’ve had conversations lately with friends about miscellaneous things, things that we haven’t previously discussed because well we weren’t in our 50’s before. It is funny how our discussions have changed over the years. We still talk about clothes, parents, money, celebrations, disappointments but not in the same ways we used to.

Talking about clothes is still fun but discussing what shapewear that we will need underneath, not so much. Our parents used to ground us and now we wonder if we can ground them. lol Money… we never had any and now we are discussing if we will have enough to retire in the next decade. There are things to celebrate our children’s graduations, weddings, our children having children. Then there are the disappointments, the hard stuff that life will throw at you. That unpredictable gut-wrenching hit you from your blindside stuff that only God, your family, and your best friends will get you through. That last category is what separates the girls from the women. Because here is the bottom line; there are people who just can not open up and interact with you in a way that you need them to. Emotional Intelligence is not something everyone has an abundance of. Or maybe they are just too broken themself to be the shoulder that you need. That is when you must understand that this is their issue and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it and once you understand that you will actually feel better about the lack of response you just got from them because you are not going to get from them what you would give.

Just like you would not go to your CPA and ask him/her to fix your plumbing, you don’t lean on this friend when you are in emotional pain. They will let you down every time. Not because they don’t care but because they don’t know how to care for you. They can’t give what they don’t have to give. This can be a hard lesson to learn. Learn it, it will serve you well. Then next time you are hurting you will know which friend to turn to and get the shoulder you need when you need it. That can be predictable.