I don’t like it when someone is upset with me. Never have. I know that I can be too blunt for some people so saying this may come as a surprise but at the end of the day, I don’t like it when someone I care about is upset with me. I will try to fix it ad nauseam. So here I was apologizing to a friend and going on and on and on and he finally says, will you shut up? Huh? There was silence…not because I was finished speaking but because I was shocked! Hey, I am trying to apologize here. He starts talking about something else and I still don’t know if he accepted my apology. This is foreign to me.

The next day I am talking with my Dad and wasn’t really sure he was listening so I say…this is where you say thank you. He laughed and said, “thank you.” To which I replied good I didn’t know if you heard me or not.

When I am having a disagreement and I ask a question. If I don’t get a response I am known to say…that was a question, not a statement. I usually get the stink eye but I also get an answer.

Looking at these things now, as I write it is easy to see that I need to be acknowledged when I am speaking to someone. And I need the acknowledgment in a way that makes sense to me. Communication is really a funny thing. We assume that if we can speak that we are a communicator. And on the surface that is true however inflections, speed of speech, the volume of voice all can change how communication is received. Have you ever received a text and was like, “what the heck” only to inquire what the person meant and it wasn’t anything close to how you received it?

I am thinking maybe most especially right now when we are around the same people in quarantine and people’s emotions might be raw or at least a little tender we all might want to work on our communication skills. I know that I am going to try (that’s the operative word) to not need perhaps as much acknowledgment as I have in the past. I know for sure when I am irritated that I am going to wait for a beat or ten before I respond.

This is the only way I want to hear shut up from a friend again. Now, how predictable is that? Have a good day friend, stay safe!