Do you want to find out what people’s true colors are? Go through something life-changing and see who stays and who scatters. I found this out the hard way very early in my adult life when my first pregnancy ended at around 22 weeks. (The technology wasn’t what it is now and part of me is grateful for that.) The same people that were so excited to find out I was expecting totally disappeared when the news turned bleak. They didn’t know what to say…I have had two-second trimester miscarriages and I still don’t know what to say. That is what you say…I love you, I am sad for you, and I just don’t know what to say, let me know how I can help you.

Or move to another state. Again, technology was different when I moved in 1992 to another state but I was only a 30/40 minute drive from “home” but you would have thought that I had moved to Mars. Yes, I was a long-distance phone call now. (Remember those?) I had friends that stayed in touch with me and others that scattered. When you realize you are the only one picking up the phone, eventually you stop.

Divorce! Oh Lord go through a divorce and people will scatter like rats off of a sinking ship. It shocked the hell out of me the judgment and disappearance of friends who would say “you can’t continue to live like this.” Gone ~ poof! Ghosted!

And what do I have to say about that? Be grateful! I know it hurts I have been there please, believe me, they were not the friend you believed them to be. They have left so much room in your calendar for the people who STAYED the ones who are walking this journey with you no matter what. Appreciate those people who chose to love you when you felt unloveable when you struggled to be pleasant when you were just trying to put one foot in front of the other. They are the ones worth giving any and all energy too.

The Princess has walked through every good and bad moment with me. She is a hand worth holding and not letting go. Do we make each other crazy sometimes…you bet! But she didn’t leave me through any of the above. Along with the Survivor she has been with me when I have cried, laughed, embarrassed myself, started over again, and when I have triumphed. (The Teacher has as well but I don’t get to see her as often.) These are the friends I want to give my energy too most especially in this season of my life. The rest of them, the ones that left, I will be grateful for what I learned from them when they were around and even more grateful that I have more room in my calendar and my heart for those who have stayed.