I have got to admit I am struggling with this one. I have an amazing young adult child back at home. Earned not one but two academic scholarships for college which made going to school much more affordable and earned an her degree in mechanical engineering a field that doesn’t have a ton of women in it yet. On top of that she worked while she was there which at times made getting good grades a little difficult. But she is a determined young lady who goes after what she wants and achieves it.

Her senior year she lived in a house with a 3 or 4 friends and one day she sent me a text I will never forget. Thank you Mom for teaching me how to clean house and do laundry, these girls don’t have a clue! The way they live is gross!

Tada! The child was listening, all of those heated discussions on cleaning her room and getting her laundry done in a timely manner and yes if you are going away to school you need to do it was worth it. And then she came home….here we go…she landed a job before graduation and new her start date for months. She stayed busy right up to her first day of work. Mass panic on that Monday morning where is this and where is that as she is getting dressed and asking me for these things. Huh? I was getting dressed myself for my job. I don’t know where your things are. Mind you this is at 6:00 a.m. it take a ton of effort for me to pleasant at 6:00 a.m. (just being honest!) I help her best I can after all it is her first day. At dinner that night I tell her, maybe you should get your room cleaned up and organized so that you can also organize what you are going to wear for the week and know where it is. I wish I could say the heavens opened up and the birds sand and she said thank you sweet mother for that advice I will get right on it. Instead there was wailing and gnashing of teeth and 101 reasons why that couldn’t happen. She and I have had six months now of disagreeing on what a clean bedroom looks like and what a clean bathroom looks like. My final straw came the other day when she couldn’t find a pair of jeans that she blamed me for being missing because I moved them which is probably true because when I asked her where she left them she said on the family room table.

So here are my questions is this normal? Is this how it works? Am I expecting too much? Many times I remind her I am not a sorority sister I am her mother. I know the world has changed a lot since I was in my 20’s. But I still wouldn’t answer my mother the way she answers me. What is the compromise here that I am not seeing? After that text I received I could not have predicted this situation in a million years. I am looking forward to your thoughts on this one.